If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is Oprah even human
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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