Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
