Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
