the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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