she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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