Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
