i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
