please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I want her autograph on my taint
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
