Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
