Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
