Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
