so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
