it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
