how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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