Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
