i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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