im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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