ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
