just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
