Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
