I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
