If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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