New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
