Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
