I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
