dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
