Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
