i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
