I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
