good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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