I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
