is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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