i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
