Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
