we're chasing vodka with high fives
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
