His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
