Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
this is an emotional support booty call
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
