He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
