and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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