Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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