Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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