i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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