Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
