party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
