My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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