I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
