Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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