Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need a beard to bite.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
