i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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