found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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