I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
